the car that cried alarmThe Car that Cried Alarm
A Jay Ward and Bill Scott pastiche by Doug Holverson
PANEL#1 PAGE#1: (Title Card.)
Title Trunciate Tall Tales
"The Card that Cried Alarm"
PANEL#2: (A Motorist dressed like a fifties sports car enthusist.)
Caption Once upon a time there was a Motorist.
PANEL#3: (A motor falls out of the sky and lands in the outstretched hand of the Motorist.)
Caption And what's a motorist without a motor?
Motorist Yeah! Without it I'd be just an ist! (different bubble) Or worse yet, just a lowly pedestrian!
PANEL#4: (The Motorist tosses the motor over his shoulder, bounces it with his heel, where it lands in the motor compartment a fancy Car with a Fuwmp!)
Caption And what's a motor without a car wrapped around it?
Sound Effect FUWMP!
PANEL#5: (View of the fancy Car, possibly a cartoonified convertible that looks like the love child of the Dodge Viper and the Chrysler 300.)
Caption Now this wasn't just any car. It was the extra sporty model.
PANEL#6: (Close up of the chrome fen
Dumpy Little PrincessTHE DUMPY LITTLE PRINCESS
Jay Ward and Bill Scott pastiche by Doug Holverson
PAGE#1, PANEL#1: (Title card.)
Title Truncated Tall Tales
The Dumpy Little Princess
PANEL#2: (The Dumpy Little Princess doing a little courtesy.)
Caption Once upon a time there was a princess.
PANEL#3: (The Dumpy Little Princess with her arms akimbo looking annoyed.)
Caption No ordinary princess she, for she was a Dumpy Little Princess.
Dumpy Little Princess Hey, narrator-boy! You ain't no Cary Grant yourself!
PANEL#4: (A sad Dumpy Little Princess pulls her patched pockets inside out as a moth or two escapes.)
Caption Fate was even harsher on our princess, for she was born into the crumby end of the upper crust.
PANEL#5: (A clique of mean royal teens is brushing off the Dumpy Little Princess.)
Royal Kid You lack the bread to loaf with us.
PANEL #6: (A clique of mean peasant teens is brushing off the Dumpy Little Princess.)
Caption Nor was she warm and toasty with the crusty end of the crumby class.
John HenryJohn Henry
Jay Ward pastiche/update
By Doug Holverson
PAGE#1, PANEL#1: (Title panel, all caption in scrolly mock decorative type.)
Truncated Tall Tales:
"John Henry Gets Spiked"
"The Hammer & Fickle"
PANEL#2: (John Henry shows up for work in front of the building for the H&O Railroad. Standing there is Shorty, a diminutive white trashy fellow with an engineer's cap and overalls and a straw dangling from under his bushy mustache).
Shorty How's things, John Henry?
John Henry I'm rarin' to beat my personal best rail spike poundin' record!
PANEL#3: (John is taken aback by bad news from Shorty.)
Shorty Ya cain't, all ya steel drivin' men have done been laid off 'n' replaced by a gismo called the Inky Poo!
PANEL#4: (John strikes an assertive pose while Shorty just stands there.)
John This can't be! I'll going to the complaint department!
Shorty Ya cain't! They's been replaced by voice mail…
PANEL#5: (John strikes an assertive pose while Shorty just stands there.)
John Then, I'm seei